International Yacht Vacations & Charters Magazine reports

There is only one winner when Roman Abramovich and Jose Mourinho go to war. Think Vladimir Romanov and his assorted managers. Think President Vladimir Putin and Alexander Litvinenko, deceased. Those in power prevail when it comes to Russian autocrats and in this case the man attached to the Siberian pipeline will win.

It may be that Abramovich has thoroughly undermined Mourinho's efforts to motivate Andrei Shevchenko by carousing round London with the Ukrainian former superstar turned bon viveur, but he is still the boss.

It may be that Michael Ballack's urgent necessity to succeed has been dulled by the sheer weight of money thrust in his direction, but it was Abramovich's perogative to throw it.

Money doesn't mean a thing to Abramovich except as a means of stocking his playroom and keeping his enemies at bay. His latest toy is the largest yacht in the world being built to his specifications in Germany. Two helicopter landing pads, one cinema, a swimming pool and a submarine are among the little incidentals.

He already has four other yachts — John Terry and Frank Lampard holidayed on the 160ft Sussurro — but you can never have quite enough decking, can you? (By which we do not mean what Pascal Chimbonda was doing to Nicky Butt in the Tottenham tunnel on Sunday night.)

Mourinho will never get to try out the sun deck himself. (The submarine is a possibility, bu t only if it never came up again.) He looks pretty fed up and out of there.

Just as Abramovich yearns for a bigger and better yacht, so he yearns for a manager who won't answer him back and guarantee a Chelsea shed-load of trophies. He will learn eventually there are no guarantees. Only that too much money and power makes you a megalomaniac.

By the way, if Roman Abramovich will soon possess the biggest yacht in the world and Sheikh Maktoum, on the brink of owning Liverpool, has the second biggest yacht in the world, they could soon be playing their home matches at sea. The only trouble would come when a player has to go off the pitch for a throw-in. Probably the only way for Andrei Shevchenko to make a splash in the Premiership.